Surviving the Breakup

By: Andrea Edwards

            Dealing with a divorce, separation or loss of a significant relationship can be a dark and challenging time in anyone’s life.  Even if it was your choice to call it quits, the process of disconnecting from the happy ending you once visualized you would have, can be a slow and painful one.  Of course, your first instinct might be to sink into bed and to wallow in regret, over the time and emotion you’ve invested into something that will never come to fruition.  It hurts badly, and you’re filled with so much uncertainty about your future, that you can hardly pull yourself together to do much of anything.

            However, as important as it is to identify with what you’re feeling, it’s just as important that take steps to move forward—no matter how uncertain you may be feeling.  The truth is that no relationship ever comes together in vein, and if you look deeply enough, you’ll discover a wealth of lessons which even, that relationship provided you with.  Yes, your ex may have been a son of a _ _ _ _ _! But it will do you no good to concentrate on that now, instead, focus more on you and on your own issues.  Issues like what may have lead you to gravitate toward a son of a _ _ _ _ _, in the first place.

            The important point is that all of life is a lesson, granted some more painful than others.  However, those are the ones from which offers us our greatest opportunity for self-growth and development.  It’s never really as simple as pointing fingers at what someone else has done.  Rather, recognize that it took two to tango, accept your role and forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time.  Set about healing past and current wounds and never be afraid to forgive yourself or anyone else.

            But if for now that process seem to be a little more than you can bare at this time, set it aside and concentrate on just coping through day to day life.  The Mental Health of America organization has a website that provide a lot of insight and steps to help you understand, cope and implement various plans of action that can help you navigate your way through the darkness.